Discussing Salary with a Coworker: Do's and Don'ts

The Do's of Salary Conversations

• Be transparent for the right reasons: Discuss pay only if the goal is to understand market value or advocate for fair compensation, not to compare or compete.
• Choose the right setting: Have the conversation privately and respectfully, away from supervisors or team meetings.
• Share, don't pry: Be clear about your boundaries and encourage openness without demanding details others are not comfortable sharing.
• Focus on data: Frame the discussion around industry standards or job roles instead of personal worth.

The Don'ts of Salary Conversations

• Don't treat it like gossip: Avoid spreading colleagues' pay information—this undermines trust and professionalism.
• Don't compare performance directly: Every role comes with different expectations and experiences; avoid using salaries to measure success.
• Don't pressure participation: If someone is unwilling to talk about money, respect their choice immediately.
• Don't cross HR policies: Some companies have rules around salary discussions—know your rights and your workplace's stance before engaging.

Respecting Workplace Boundaries

Money talk can quickly blur professional boundaries. Before starting a salary conversation, ask yourself if the context supports openness, whether your colleague is someone you trust, and how the discussion aligns with workplace culture. Balancing honesty with tact ensures that your conversation empowers, rather than divides, your work relationships.

Practical Communication Tips

1. Use neutral language and avoid emotional framing.
2. Validate your colleague’s feelings—acknowledge that compensation can be a sensitive topic.
3. If discussing pay equity, pivot to constructive actions, such as gathering salary benchmarks or jointly approaching HR with well-researched data.