How to Ask for Feedback Without Sounding Defensive

Receiving feedback can feel intimidating, but it’s also one of the fastest ways to grow professionally. The key is in how you ask for feedback—done correctly, it promotes trust, encourages open workplace communication, and positions you as someone eager to improve rather than defend.

1. Shift Your Mindset From Criticism to Growth

View feedback as an opportunity to learn rather than as negative judgment. Adopting a growth mindset helps you stay receptive and reduces the urge to defend yourself.

2. Frame Your Questions Clearly

Instead of asking vague questions like “How am I doing?”, use specific prompts such as “What’s one area I can improve in my reporting?” This separates your performance from your self-worth and guides the feedback provider.

3. Listen Actively Without Interrupting

Even if you disagree, avoid jumping in with explanations. Let the person finish before asking clarifying questions. This demonstrates respect and ensures you fully understand the perspective being shared.

4. Show Appreciation

Always thank the person for their feedback, regardless of how challenging it may be to hear. Acknowledgment reinforces that you value their time and input, encouraging future honesty.

5. Outline Your Next Steps

Turn feedback into action. Briefly share how you plan to address the point raised—this shows professionalism and prevents the conversation from sounding defensive.

FAQ

How can I avoid sounding defensive when receiving feedback?

Pause before responding, focus on understanding the message, and ask clarifying questions instead of offering immediate justifications.

What are some good questions to ask when requesting feedback?

Try specific, actionable prompts such as: 'What’s one thing I could do differently to make my communication clearer?' or 'How can I improve my contribution in team meetings?'

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